Yuppie Women

• Father to Yuppette's boyfriend, who arrived to take her on a date: "She'll be right down. Care for a game of chess ?"
• One Yuppette to another: "He likes my company, and I just love his. I think it's called the First Fidelity Trust."
• Two Yuppettes were discussing their current relationships: "At first he seemed dull and uninteresting, but when you finally get to know him, he's downright boring."
• The Yuppette was considering the proposal of marriage she had just received: "Let me hear that part again where you realize you're not half good enough for me."
• The Yuppette was standing on the porch, with her Mother, watching her boyfriend depart: "But Mother, I'm positive he's been faithful to me. The seat belts never need readjusting."
• I have a new definition for y'all to consider. A Lesbian Yuppette is nothing more than a mannish depressive with delusions of gender.
• So many Yuppettes seem to appreciate the quiet things in life -- Like the folding of a five hundred dollar bill.
• The Yuppette was obviously tiring of her current beau when she asked: "When people ask me what I see in you Raymond, what shall I tell them ?"
• The bored Yuppette said to her date: "I think I'll have another drink. It makes you so witty and charming."
• The Yuppette was trying to reassure her lover during sex: "Of course you're not the first man I've made love to. You know I think more of you than to just use you as a guinea pig."
• It's easy to spot the nouveaux riche Yuppettes in Columbia, Maryland. They're the ones watering their flower beds with bottled water.
• You'll very seldom see a Yuppette eating a hot dog. None are certified or warranted by the Kennel Club.
• Most Yuppette's have no use for men who try to mess up the country's economy by living within their income.
• I've noticed the oddest behavior in most Yuppettes. The only time they won't look in a mirror is when they're pulling out of a parking space.
• This phrase that most Yuppettes use -- "professional woman." I mean, come on. When's the last time you met an "amateur" one?