Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Comebacks to Comebacks to Those One-Liners

  • M: I know how to please a woman.
    W: Then please leave me alone.
    M: I guess you're pretty good at pleasing yourself then.
  • M: I want to give myself to you.
    W: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
    M: Oh, just cheap perfume then.
  • M: Your hair color is fabulous.
    W: Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store.
    M: Is that also where you got your eyelashes and colored contacts?
  • M: You look like a dream.
    W: Go back to sleep.
    M: You mean this isn't a nightmare?
  • M: I can tell that you want me.
    W: Yes, I want you to leave.
    M: Well, I wasn't planning on doing you HERE!
  • M: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
    W: Do not enter. -OR- Stop.
    M: Really? You look more like a "Yield."
  • M: Your body is like a temple.
    W: Sorry, there are no services today.
    M: Here's a donation to restore the exterior.
  • M: Is this seat empty?
    W: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
    M: [Looking away] Honey, there's two here!
  • M: What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?
    W: What's it like being the biggest liar in the world?
    M: You're right. I was lying.
  • M: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
    W: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
    M: Well, I guess you really don't belong in the men's room anyway.