Used to talk in the chatroom

A girl is asking her boyfriend on a date saying, "I realize you're used to talking to me in the chat room, but do you have to move your fingers like you're typing everytime you say something?"

Dumping a girlfriend while golfing

A girl tells about her story of getting dumped from her date while playing golf. "I took up golf so I could spend more time with him. Then when I beat him, he dumps me.

Wait for 3 years for a date

See the funny dating cartoon above where the girl is cleverly asking his boy to wait for 3 years for a date saying, "Thanks for a lovely evening. I'd like to take things slow, so give me a call in about 3 years".

Yuppie Women

• Father to Yuppette's boyfriend, who arrived to take her on a date: "She'll be right down. Care for a game of chess ?"
• One Yuppette to another: "He likes my company, and I just love his. I think it's called the First Fidelity Trust."
• Two Yuppettes were discussing their current relationships: "At first he seemed dull and uninteresting, but when you finally get to know him, he's downright boring."
• The Yuppette was considering the proposal of marriage she had just received: "Let me hear that part again where you realize you're not half good enough for me."
• The Yuppette was standing on the porch, with her Mother, watching her boyfriend depart: "But Mother, I'm positive he's been faithful to me. The seat belts never need readjusting."
• I have a new definition for y'all to consider. A Lesbian Yuppette is nothing more than a mannish depressive with delusions of gender.
• So many Yuppettes seem to appreciate the quiet things in life -- Like the folding of a five hundred dollar bill.
• The Yuppette was obviously tiring of her current beau when she asked: "When people ask me what I see in you Raymond, what shall I tell them ?"
• The bored Yuppette said to her date: "I think I'll have another drink. It makes you so witty and charming."
• The Yuppette was trying to reassure her lover during sex: "Of course you're not the first man I've made love to. You know I think more of you than to just use you as a guinea pig."
• It's easy to spot the nouveaux riche Yuppettes in Columbia, Maryland. They're the ones watering their flower beds with bottled water.
• You'll very seldom see a Yuppette eating a hot dog. None are certified or warranted by the Kennel Club.
• Most Yuppette's have no use for men who try to mess up the country's economy by living within their income.
• I've noticed the oddest behavior in most Yuppettes. The only time they won't look in a mirror is when they're pulling out of a parking space.
• This phrase that most Yuppettes use -- "professional woman." I mean, come on. When's the last time you met an "amateur" one?
  

Unattractive boyfriend

See how the girl is insulting her boyfriend saying, "Yes, I admit it. I do look at other men. But if it makes you feel any better, I don't find them attractive either".

Sending flowers to girlfriend

I'd like to apologize to my girlfriend by sending her some flowers. I don't think I've done anything wrong, but that never mattered before.

Your Cheatin' Heart

A guy says to his friend in a pub, "I don't think my girlfriend trusts me. This morning she carved the words to the song 'Your Cheatin' Heart' on my car."

Frank & desperate

A desperate guy gives an advertisement for dating girls with 'I'm frank and I'm desperate! Call me @ 555-2176' written on it. The guys says to his friend, "I paid a dating service $1,500 to help get me a date, and that's the best they could come up with?"

Better looking actor

In this cartoon, the girls' family wants to meet the boy she is dating with but the girl advises him to, "My family wants you over for dinner so they can meet you, but you don't have to go. I've hired a younger and better looking actor to go in your place".

Difficult Women

• SERVER woman
  She's always busy when you need her.
• WINDOWS woman
  Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but none can live without her.
• POWERPOINT woman
  Only Bill Gates has the will to use her more than half an hour.
• EXCEL woman
  They say she can do a lot of things, but you mostly use her for your four basic needs.
• WORD woman
  She always has a surprise reserved for you, but no one in the world is able to fully understand her.
• DOS woman
  Everyone has had her at least once, but no one wants her anymore.
• BACKUP woman
  You have always believed that she has everything you need, but when "X-hour" comes, you find out that she has missed something.
• VIRUS woman
  Also known as "wife"; when you are not expecting her to, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, but if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.
• SCANDISK woman
  You know that she is good and that she only wants to help you, but you never know what she is really doing that for.
• SCREENSAVER woman
  She is not worth anything, but at least she's fun!
• RAM woman
  She forgets everything you say when you disconnect her.
• HARD-DISK woman
  She remembers everything.... FOREVER.
• MULTIMEDIA woman
  She makes horrible things look beautiful.
• MICROSOFT woman
  She wants to have domination over all the men she meets, and she tries to convince them that this is the best thing for them. She will do the best she can to make you fight against other women, and she promises you that you will have everything you want if you will give her your address book. Before you figure it out, she will be the only one in your life... it will even come to the day when you will need her permission to open your refrigerator or start your car.
• PASSWORD woman
  You think you're the only one who knows her, but in reality all the world does....
• MP3 woman
  Everybody wants to take her...
• USER woman
  She fucks up everything she does, and she always asks for more than she needs.
• CPU woman
  From outside, she looks like she has everything, but on the inside she is empty...
• MONITOR woman
  She makes life look better and brighter.
• CD-ROM woman
  She's always going faster and faster.
• DATAWAREHOUSING woman
  She keeps you informed of everything, except what you really want to know.
• E-MAIL woman
  Out of every ten things she says, eight are bullshit.
  

Taking the girl out on a date

The guy here said that he will take the girl out in a convertible and when they are going on a date together, the girl exclaims, "This is the convertible you said you were taking me out in - a 72, rusted out Ford Pinto?"

Complain on a date

See in the above cartoon how a girl complains of a relationship disaster to her guy on a date, she says, "Our relationship is much like that website of yours - hot at first, but now an iceberg".